You & Yours

Finding out that someone you love is gay, lesbian, transgender, intersex or is questioning their sexuality or gender identity can be a challenging time. 

It may also be the beginning of a positive and life-changing journey.

You have done nothing wrong and there is nothing to fear. You are not alone, the person you love is not alone and there are lots of resources and supports in Geelong and beyond to assist you in your journey.  

 

Personal Stories:

My youngest child came to me about six months ago and told me he was transgender. It was a shock to know that for 21 years I believed that I had a daughter; when in fact I had a son.  I loved the idea of having a son. I grew up with three sisters and raised three daughters.

I was devastated at the thought of “losing” my daughter.  It felt like she was going away; being replaced by a new child - a boy!  I didn’t know how to interact with a son.

We talked about it a lot. He tried to explain how it felt to be born in the wrong body.  How he felt different from the girls at school.  He’d had a lot of time off school. He was constantly sick – always sad and depressed.  No wonder!

Since coming out as transgender, my son is a different person. A weight has been lifted off his shoulders. Telling friends and family was a challenge.  I found myself trying to answer questions that I didn’t have answers for. 

I joined PFLAG and found the support a great comfort. I borrowed books through PFLAG which gave me a better understanding of what my child was going through.

I no longer feel like I am losing a daughter.  I look into my child’s eyes and for the first time I see the light of hope and excitement for his future as his true self.

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My son Harry came out just before his 18th birthday. Leading up to his 18th birthday, a few things happened and I sensed that Harry wanted to tell me that he was gay, but didn’t know how.  After a few days of waiting for him to approach me, I decided to approach him.

He confirmed that he was gay.  He didn’t make eye contact during the conversation; he was matter-of-fact but also appeared unsure.

I needed time to process his coming out.

I only showed love and acceptance for Harry. As much as I had suspected he was gay, coming out threw me into a period of private grieving; I feared for his future.

My son was diagnosed with general anxiety disorder at 15 after withdrawing from school and society at 14 years of age.  The education system was not equipped to support him and the support services we sourced were not adequately meeting his needs.

Coming out was a significant point in Harry’s progress.  It seemed that a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders and his sense of self now seemed more secure.

He is now 20 and continues to progress with small steps, receiving support through GASP, and reengaging in education and other community activities, whilst I am receiving support through PFLAG.

Additional information